Unfortunately, break-ups are a part of life, and it’s very rare one can go through life without heartbreak from time-to-time. It can be one of the most difficult periods of anyone’s life and the support of friends and family is a must.
But what exactly can you do to aid them through the difficult times?
Firstly, it’s good to understand the circumstances. It could be a delicate situation, but can go a long way in helping guide them through it. For example, if there’s abuse involved or adultry, you’re going to deal with it very differently to an amicable break-up. In many cases, break-ups can happen due to alcohol or drugs, in which case are you going to need to think about private rehab for your friend to help ease the break-up process and get their life back on track?
From there, you can start to provide guidance. And that starts with…
Sitting with their emotions
You need to sit with their pain and let them breathe and deal with it at their own pace. Often we can dive into these situations with such wisdom as “there’s plenty more fish in the sea” or “you’re better than him”. Not helpful.
You should be active in listening to them and their experiences, not try to tie it round to your own or other experiences, while in many cases it may be a case that you embrace silence with them rather than spend hours upon hours talking.
Understand what they want
We may have our own ideas of what they need, but what do they want? It may be that they need support in specific areas of their life, so discuss candidly about what they need from you and work on providing that.
It may be that further down the line you need to take more assertive action, particularly in the case of getting therapy to aid them, but in the intial stages, let them deal with the emotion in their own way.
Get our more
We all know what the likes of exercise can do for stress and that enjoying activities can take the mind off things and improve mood, so try and get them out and do that. It may be that your company on an afternoon hike or playing video games for a few hours a day is more than enough for them and it’s that which is more important rather than your conversation necessarily.
Ultimately, listen and provide them with what they need rather than immediately bound in and tell them what they should do. Everyone is different, and you want your friend to heal at their own pace with your support.