“Wow! These guys have such chemistry!” Haven’t you heard this phrase about some couples before? We bet – yes. But what does that actually mean? The psychologists wanted to find the answer to this question. And after long studies, they have identified three elements that determine whether a man and woman in the couple will be happy together or not.
Have you met your girlfriend on https://uadates.com/ukrainian-brides.html or just in a bar around the corner – it doesn’t matter. According to the conclusion of this research, conducted by the University of California, the chemistry between two people appears – only if they are similar in the following matters.
Actually, they initially based their theory on what is known as transaction analysis. Those who are interested in psychology most likely are familiar with it and its creator. Canadian psychologist Eric Berne developed it a long time ago – in the middle of the twentieth century. His ideas, however, remain indisputable even nowadays.
This analysis deals with the three ego states. Berne defined them as follows:
- The parents. What were you taught?
- The child. What do you feel?
- The adult. What have you learned?
You might be asking now: how the ego states may be related to couples and their chemistry? The answer is pretty apparent. These questions are fundamental and help to estimate your and your partner’s compatibility. But let’s be more concrete and reformulate the mentioned above matters:
- The parents. Do you and your girlfriend share the same values and beliefs?
- The child. Can you say you have fun together? Are you two likewise spontaneous? Do you find your woman attractive? Do you enjoy doing something (no matter what) together?
- The adult. Do you think your and your partner’s intelligence level is similar? Can you analyze and solve problems together? Do you have the same goals?
If you can’t say you and your loved one have absolutely identical answers – it’s okay. Only in the rarest cases are a man and woman in the couple are hundred percent compatible in all three points. Still, the more matches you two have – the higher the chance of being happy with each other for a long time.
However, psychologists from Germany believe that it should be the fourth point in this list that plays a significant role. They talk about feelings, of course. In their opinion, even if the majority of these questions have the same answers from both partners, relationships are still about feelings. The sensation that appears when you see a person you like definitely determines the future of a relationship. Don’t you think so?
Okay, we understand that it’s hard to evaluate the feelings you and your partner have. But psychologists don’t want to leave you all alone with this problem. Namely, for such an unclear situation, they created a self-test for couples, including the use of a polygraph test. How does it work, then?
Use your imagination. Try to visualize the situation where you and your special one live together in the same apartment. Suddenly you get notified that she will be away for a few days, let’s say to participate in the conference. The next morning you wake up and see something important to your girl lying around in the apartment and cause chaos. How do you feel? Are you annoyed because you have to clean up, or rather the opposite? Does her stuff remind you of pleasant moments together? When you call her later, will you mention how messy the apartment was when she left? Or, instead, will just laugh about it and think, “Oh, it’s so my dear girl!”?
We guess the results of this self-test don’t need further comments from our side – so apparent they are. So, dear reader, do you understand it all better now?