Most families these days are a two income household – with both parents out working, children at school, and busy social lives to fit in between.
In the midst of all this, domestic chores loom. Houses still need to be cleaned, laundry needs to be done, shopping bought and meals cooked. Trying to find the time and energy to do all this is a struggle for many families across the country.
The trouble is, you work hard and you want to spend time with your loved ones when you’re not working. But spending time with you loved ones does not get the domestic chores done. So you start to feel guilty. And that guilt erodes away at your enjoyment of spending time with your loved ones.
So here’s our three step plan to making sure that you work hard, play hard, and get around domesticity.
1. PRIORITISE YOUR FAMILY
Our first piece of advice is to demonstrate how this conflict is a mindset issue more than anything else. When you feel guilty about something that you haven’t done, you are creating feelings of worry or unhappiness. But therein lies the crux – you are making yourself feel guilty. You are talking yourself into these feelings of unhappiness and guilt and worry.
It could be that you have a strong perfectionist thinking style. While in itself guilt is it a natural emotion, as an individual it is common to magnify our guilt based on what other peoples’ perception of us could be – and this feeds into our own feelings of self worth. So despite working hard and earning your right to relax and enjoy some down time, you don’t allow yourself that luxury.
Here’s the thing – does it really matter what other people think? The only people you need to worry about is your family – and they would much rather be spending quality time with you. Ultimately, no one ever died of a messy house. So learn to worry less about what others might think, and focus purely on the happiness of those around you, and of course, yourself.
2. OUTSOURCE THE CHORES
Budgets permitting, outsource as much as you possibly can. Find yourself a local dry cleaning service who can take on the bulk of your laundry, book in a few hours with a cleaner every couple of weeks, do your weekly shopping online and get it delivered.
Your time is more valuable than the chores you perform. Outsourcing domestic jobs is not a sign of weakness, pr that you cannot cope. Outsourcing domesticity is both an investment in yourself, and an opportunity for employment for another person. There are companies around who offer fantastic services, using people who love to clean (yes, there are those around). So take advantage of their services, and give yourself the gift of time.
3. GET EVERYONE INVOLVED
There is no reason why your whole family shouldn’t get involved on some of your domestic projects. For example, if the garden fence needs painting, get half a dozen paint brushes with a few pots of wood preserver, and encourage your kids to join in. Make a competition of it – organise a pizza and cinema trip as a reward for getting this job done! Alternatively, schedule in an hour over a weekend during which everyone has to strip and re-make their beds.
If everyone does it all at once, that job is done and dusted within half an hour. Yes, you may need to help the younger kids initially, but if it becomes part of your routine it helps the chores pass quicker and more smoothly. All you then need to do is bundle it all up and wait for the dry cleaning service to take it away, and return it fresh, pressed and ready for the next changeover day!