Scientists say that the average person lies about 50 times a day. I don’t know where they get those statistics, but I admit that we can often lie without noticing it. We say that we are doing well, when we are not, in response to some complaint humbly promise to fix it, although we do not even plan to try, and similar situations.
We are not talking, of course, about serious deceptions, cheating, and betrayals-these things in love are unacceptable. If you want to write an essay or book on the subject of Lying, you need to attend appropriate courses.
Lies for salvation
According to psychologists, small understatements in the relationship are not only permissible but may be useful. Sometimes it is not necessary to focus on things that may upset, anger, or disappoint a loved one. It is possible not to tell about the price of a new blouse, how openly you discuss your personal life with your girlfriend, or that you have a new handsome colleague at work.
The truth phenomenon
The first reason is that we lie when we are afraid of being unpleasant, think we are not worthy of love, attention, or respect, and try to look more attractive from our point of view by distorting the truth. This is a very interesting topic to learn. This kind of lying is expressed by people exaggerating or embellishing something in everyday life, hiding the truth about themselves. This kind of thing has happened to all of us. Life is a reliable source for studying this phenomenon.
In the worst-case scenario, for example, when a child was not accepted in the family, could not be open and truthful, he has to create a shell of “false self”. Liar is a prime example of that. Much more can be found in the knowledge base with thousands of “The Crucible” essays, with a vivid example of how lies and revenge are destructive components of not only love but also human relationships. The term was introduced by the pediatric psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, who observed that some children, trying to maintain relationships with unfriendly or indifferent surroundings, begin to adapt, forming a comfortable image of themselves to others, which they believe. This can affect the rest of their lives: as a rule, such people come to therapy with a feeling of emptiness, saying that they do not feel real. The person suddenly discovers that others like their appearance or the qualities they possess, but that they don’t enjoy it at all.
The second reason for lying is to try to hide something that may be dangerous for us. In the pathological version, if we go back to the child-parent relationship, such a lie occurs when parents begin to attack the child, not accept it, and take away what he likes. As a rule, this type of lie impact is formed in a relationship with a persecuting, totalitarian, controlling person. In nature, we would call it mimicry, an attempt to blend into the general background. Keeping information secret is still lying because such circumstances distort our view of ourselves in the eyes of others.
How women’s lies differ from men’s lies
In trying to understand the nature of women’s lies, first of all, we need to determine which lies are truly women’s lies. There are criminal lies and lies every day. Criminal lie – this is a deliberate deception of the interlocutor for his benefit, no matter material or moral. The reasons for such lies are obvious and unequivocally condemned by society. Men and women are the same in such lies, it all depends on the decency, level of intelligence, upbringing, and acting talent of the individual.
Evolution of Lies
Lying arose along with human speech itself, giving a certain advantage in the struggle for limited resources and partners to those who wanted to manipulate those around them without the use of physical force, scientists suggest. “Lying is very easy compared to other ways of gaining power. It’s much easier to lie to get someone’s wealth or money than it is to hit someone over the head or rob a bank to do so,” explains Cissela Bock, a philosopher, and psychologist at Harvard University.
The truth is easier to tell, while lying requires effort and a sharp, flexible mind, according to psychologist Bruno Verschuere, who won the 2016 Schnabel Prize with co-authors of a study on dishonesty at different ages. This study showed that lying is part of mental development: children learn to tell untruths at a very early age and do so frequently but ineptly; lying has a destructive effect.